Workplace sexism is an Olympic sport at this point, and I am tired.
Tired of being asked to take the minutes when I’m the one leading the meeting. Tired of my ideas being ignored until a male colleague repeats them with slightly different wording. Tired of the interruptions, the casual condescension, the Oh, I think what she means is… when I have, in fact, already spoken in plain English.
So, the next time this happens? I’ll be ready. Here’s what I’ll say:
1. “Oh, I think John would be great at that!”
When I, a senior-level professional, get asked to “just quickly take notes,” my response will be swift. If I have never been asked to do it before, I will redirect that request like an Olympic volleyball player.
Example:
Boss: “Can you take the minutes?”
Me: “Oh, I think John would be great at that! He’s got such a knack for capturing detail.”
Watch as John suddenly remembers he has a very important engagement elsewhere.
2. “That’s a great idea! Funny, I just said that five minutes ago.”
There’s something magical about men repeating women’s ideas in meetings and suddenly being hailed as visionaries. Luckily, I’ve perfected the art of calling it out just diplomatically enough to make everyone uncomfortable.
Example:
Me: [suggests a strategy]
Man: [repeats same strategy five minutes later]
Boss: “Brilliant idea!”
Me: “That’s a great idea! Funny, I just said that five minutes ago.” [smiles]
Cue the awkward silence.
3. “I wasn’t finished speaking.”
The interruptions. My God, the interruptions. Sometimes, the only thing you need to do is hold your ground and say these four simple words. Example: Man: [interrupts] Me: [stares] “I wasn’t finished speaking.” [continues speaking] No apologies, no laughter to soften the blow. Just keep talking.4. “Let’s circle back to what I was saying earlier.”
For when the room gets suddenly amnesic about the points I made earlier in the meeting. This phrase reclaims the conversation without drama, but with just enough steel in it. Example: Man: [talks over me, derails meeting] Me: “Great. Let’s circle back to what I was saying earlier.” Direct. Powerful. Impossible to ignore.The unsolicited mansplaining. THE UNSOLICITED MANSPLAINING!
5. “I’d love to hear more about your expertise in this area.”
Ah yes, the unsolicited mansplaining. Sometimes, when a man insists on explaining my own area of expertise to me, I hit him with this one. Works like a charm.
Example:
Man: [explains my own job to me]
Me: “I’d love to hear more about your expertise in this area. What’s your background in this field?”
Watch as the color drains from his face when he realizes he has none.
6. “No.”
A classic. When all else fails, a simple “No” will suffice. Have you ever heard the saying, “No is a complete sentence? No justification. No over-explaining. Just: no.
Example:
Man: “Can you handle this admin task?”
Me: “No.” [smiles]
Boundaries Are Power
We are done shrinking ourselves. We are done laughing off undermining comments to “keep the peace.” We are done waiting for someone else to stand up for us. Next time it happens, I’ll be ready. And if you need to borrow any of these lines? Please, be my guest.
