Dating can feel like navigating a minefield with a blindfold on.
Some red flags are obvious (he has a second family, babe—run), but others are subtle and insidious, creeping in slowly until one day you realize you’ve become fluent in making excuses for someone who does not deserve them.
If you’re seeing any of these signs, consider this your wake-up call.
He Finds Fault in Everything You Do
If he’s constantly criticizing the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you exist, it’s not “constructive feedback”—it’s a slow erosion of your confidence. The right partner lifts you up, not picks you apart.
Example: “Are you really going to wear that?”
What You Deserve Instead: “You look amazing in anything.”
He’s Controlling (Even in Subtle Ways)
Controlling behavior doesn’t always show up as a dramatic “You can’t go out with your friends” moment. Sometimes, it’s more insidious—guilt-tripping you for making plans without him, monitoring who you talk to, or making you feel like you have to ask permission to live your life.
Example: “I just don’t understand why you need to go out so much.”
What You Deserve Instead: “Have fun with your friends! Can’t wait to hear all about it.”
He Doesn’t Trust You (But Expects You to Trust Him)
If he’s constantly accusing you of things you haven’t done, going through your phone, or acting suspicious over harmless interactions, he’s projecting his own insecurities—or worse, his own behavior—onto you.
Example: “Who’s that guy in your Instagram comments?”
What You Deserve Instead: “I love how people appreciate you—just like I do.”
He Never Takes Responsibility for His Actions
If every argument ends with him blaming you, deflecting, or playing the victim, congratulations—you’re dating someone emotionally stunted. Real adults own their mistakes, apologize sincerely, and make an effort to do better.
Example: “I wouldn’t have said that if you hadn’t made me mad.”
What You Deserve Instead: “I’m sorry. That was unfair of me.”
Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening, understanding, and resolving things together.
He’s Terrible at Communicating (And Not Trying to Improve)
Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening, understanding, and resolving things together. If he shuts down, stonewalls, or refuses to talk about feelings like they’re an optional upgrade, you deserve better.
Example: You: “Can we talk about what’s been bothering me?”
Him: “Ugh, not this again.”
What You Deserve Instead: “Of course, let’s figure this out together.”
Your Gut Is Telling You Something Is Off
Listen, sometimes the biggest red flag is the feeling that something isn’t right. If you feel drained, anxious, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trust your gut. It’s trying to tell you what your heart doesn’t want to admit.
Example: That sinking feeling you get before bringing up literally anything with him.
What You Deserve Instead: To feel safe, valued, and at peace in your relationship.
You Deserve More, Babe
If any of this sounds familiar, take it as your sign: you don’t need to justify staying in a relationship that makes you feel small. Love should feel like a safe haven, not a battlefield.
And if you needed one more reason to leave? Picture your best friend in your exact situation. What would you tell her to do?
Now go take your own advice. You got this.
